Holidays in Retirement: A New Experience
What are the first memories that come to mind when you think of the holiday season? Do they bring up warm fuzzy feelings, or feelings of malaise, grumpiness, or stress?
Whether your holiday experience has been one of joy and connection, or the holiday blues, retirement may bring about some changes in your holiday experience. It may also present an opportunity to create new traditions and experiences for this new chapter.
Here are some ways you might experience change with the holidays after retirement, along with tips for making the most out of this time:
Holidays are no longer a break from work.
During our busy working lives, the holiday experience is about family traditions and community gatherings…and also a much-needed break from the routine and stress of work (though not always restful!). Without the regular work routine, the holiday experience in retirement may feel quite different, as it is no longer this break from daily stresses of work. This shift may feel liberating for some but disorienting for others, as the holidays no longer feel much different from other times.
Tip: Rather than the holidays being marked by your time off from work, you might consider creating your own new traditions to mark the holiday season. Reflect on what you have found most enjoyable during the holidays, and how you might incorporate this into your holiday season in new ways. Perhaps you pick a time to put up decorations–even if only for yourself to enjoy. Maybe you have a charity or a cause that you care about, where you can find new ways to contribute during the holiday season.
More time to focus on the holidays.
Whether the holidays are merry and bright, or down and dull, retirement typically means you will have more time to focus on them. For some this may result in a hyper-focus on holiday plans and festivities, and even attempting to pull others along for the ride of holiday perfection. Others find the holiday blues are even more blue without the distraction that work used to provide.
Tip: Keep up a routine through the holidays that helps you decompress and focus on your own wellbeing. Think about some of your favorite things–morning walks, yoga, or making time for a book you can’t put down. Make sure to incorporate these into your days and weeks during the holiday season.
Shifting family dynamics and social circles.
The holidays tend to be about time with family and friends. With retirement, these relationships usually undergo some change. How you engage with your family, and the social circles you are involved in, may look quite different from pre-retirement. Perhaps you are used to attending holiday functions for work. Your family might assume that you will be available to host large gatherings and travel long distances now that you are retired. They may expect you to continue generous gift-giving. Or, your family circumstances might mean it’s time to adjust old traditions.
Tip: Explore new traditions that take into account changes with you or your relationships, and that help you celebrate the holidays in meaningful ways. Reflect on your vision for retirement, and how your holiday celebrations may align with this. Explore and discuss ideas for new traditions you can create for yourself, or with family and social connections you treasure most.
Retirement is an opportunity to create new holiday traditions that reflect your current values and lifestyle. Your friend’s and family’s circumstances may also mean old traditions will need to be modified. Involve others in brainstorming fresh ways to celebrate together, that honor where each of you are in life: “How might we celebrate Christmas differently?” And if circumstances mean you are spending the holidays alone, consider for yourself–how might you like to celebrate Christmas differently?
The holidays are a time of transformation, much like retirement itself. By approaching this season with intention and flexibility, you can build meaningful connections and create a joyful new chapter in your holiday traditions.
Fighting holiday blues?
You’re not alone if you struggle during the holiday season. There may be past experiences or loss that cloud the season. Perhaps expectations surrounding the holidays are overwhelming. Or perhaps difficult family dynamics make this a tricky and even dreadful time to navigate. The challenges that often come with the holidays make it even more important to care for yourself. Retirement may also present that opportunity to transform the holiday experience.
Explore and find your own little ways to enjoy small moments throughout the season. Consider those things you enjoy most, and how you might incorporate them into each week, and especially after those situations that are most taxing for you.
Tips for Coaches
For retirement coaches, the holiday season offers a prime opportunity to help clients explore these changes. Use reflective exercises to guide clients in identifying what’s most meaningful about the holidays and how to honor those priorities. For instance, you might ask clients about their favorite past holiday memories and identify what elements made those moments special. Then, help them brainstorm ways to incorporate similar themes or activities into their current celebrations. Encouraging clients to manage expectations, embrace change, and focus on connection can help them approach the season with confidence and joy.
Photo by Alisa Anton on Unsplash
