Planning for Retirement as a Couple
Retirement is often framed as an individual decision. But for couples, there is another layer of complexity, and preparing well together can make all the difference in how things turn out. Unfortunately, couples often fail to communicate their plans for retirement because they assume they are already on the same page.
So the number one piece of advice for couples planning for retirement is the same as for couples at any other point: communicate.
But with drastic changes in day-to-day life after retirement, couples often face entirely new changes and challenges. Relationships that worked well in pre-retirement years sometimes need a bit of work during retirement. The rise in divorce rates among those around the average retirement age reinforces the new challenges that may arise in this phase of life.
While divorce rates have gone down among younger age groups between 1990 and 2021, divorce rates among 65+ age group have tripled [1]. That being said, divorce rates among younger groups are still much higher than for those 65+—so it seems there is still something to be said for experience when it comes to marriage.
But what can couples do to better prepare for relationship changes in retirement?
We have outlined six topics that are sometimes overlooked or even dismissed, and which can result in some struggles down the road. Taking time to discuss each of these points will go a long way to helping you prepare for retirement as a couple.
1. Get specific about your vision.
Before you (and/or your partner) retire, take time to understand one another's hopes, expectations, and concerns for this next chapter. Also make sure to go beyond the big ideas and explore your vision for day-to-day life, between the travel, projects, etc. What will it look like for you, as individuals and as a couple?
What are the things you feel you must do in retirement? Where do you want to live? Who will you want to spend time with? Which pursuits will you enjoy?
2. Get clear on your financial plan together.
Each partner’s involvement in financial planning is crucial for the plan to work. Furthermore, in the event of a health challenge or even the loss of your spouse, you will be so much better off if you already have a clear understanding of your financial situation. If you are not already meeting with a financial planner as a couple, now is the time to start.
3. Reflect on how retirement timing will impact your relationship.
Retiring at the same time can be difficult to actually execute, given the factors that come into play with the timing of retirement. But whether you retire at the same time, or different times, this will mean a unique set of changes and adjustments.
Retiring at the same time will mean navigating retirement together, as a couple, while also navigating your own personal adjustments to retirement. Retiring at different times, on the other hand, will mean that one partner may be at home while the other is working. With either of these scenarios, there will be different expectations and hopes.
4. Consider time together versus time apart.
Retirement is an opportunity to spend more time with your partner. It also means you will probably have more time together than ever before. Spending time apart, on your own individual interests and with your own social circles can be just as beneficial for your relationship as having more time together. What pursuits will you enjoy together, and what will you enjoy doing separately?
5. Renegotiate household chores.
When one or both partners in a relationship retire, there are often shifting expectations around household responsibilities. Openly discussing these expectations and changes ahead of time helps to support a smooth transition for both partners.
6. Talk about how retirement is going.
Check in with one another about how you’re feeling about retirement. Everyone experiences retirement differently. For those who found a great deal of enjoyment with work, retirement might mean having to discover new avenues for fulfilment. For others, retirement may be exactly what they needed. More importantly, your feelings about retirement may change and fluctuate over time. Having a partner who will listen to your experiences is an invaluable form of support when things are challenging.
The same practices that have kept your relationship strong up to the point of retirement will also help to support your relationship in retirement. Nevertheless, there are bound to be some changes and adjustments that you will face as a couple after retirement. Communication around these changes will be crucial.
For relationships that are struggling before retirement, extra care and attention may be required to successfully navigate this new terrain. For couples, satisfaction with retirement is not only about individual experiences, but the quality of their relationship.
[1] https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/westrick-payne-lin-age-variation-divorce-rate-1990-2021-fp-23-16.html
For more information on retirement life planning, you can book a complimentary consultation with a retirement coach, or have a look at our training programs for professionals working with retiring clients.
